What Happened to JOY?
Where did my word for 2025 go?
Maybe you remember that I told you about setting a word for the year to focus on? I chose JOY and wrote some postings on What Made Me Happy.
There have been some ups and downs with my mental health in the past few months. Mostly because of the state of the world.
Anxiety took over (again) and since the end of February my body has been in a permanent fight-flight-freeze response. My overactive nervous system was going haywire (again) and my heart palpitations were driving me crazy. There were weeks when I seemed to have forgotten how to breathe normally. It’s automatic, they say, and of course I know it’s true, but it certainly didn’t feel that way. I wasn’t able to trust my own breathing. My lifeline.
It’s hard to focus on JOY when you’ve been feeling like this for weeks on end. The irony isn’t lost on me. The irony of choosing this word of all words.
I couldn’t think about JOY, I was busy just surving each day (and get some work done). At least that’s how I felt. And I certainly couldn’t write about What Made Me Happy week after week.
So if you were wondering why there were no more posts of this category, this is why. Sorry!
It’s not that I couldn’t feel joy any more, but my focus shifted and I had to shift with it.
Perhaps a word for a whole year is a little too much to ask, too presumptuous or simply too short for a long year. There is so much that can happen and change your whole view of (daily) life.
As much as I like to set an intention and to work with a simple, easy to remember word as a guidance or with a simple sentence as an affirmation, I don’t want to be restricted or pressurized by it.
This happened with JOY at the beginning of my challenging time.
“You chose the word for a reason, now stick with it. No changes!”
“Go on, feel joy, look for joy, it’s good for you.”
“Readers like What Made Me Happy, some even subscribed because of it, you have to write more of these positive, uplifiting little stories.”
“You can’t abandon a category after some weeks. Be reliable!”
Here she was again, my old nemesis PRESSURE. (Maybe you’ve met her.)
Unfortunately, I can't proudly say that I didn't listen to her. I did - for a while.
But I found it wasn’t helpful at all what she had to tell me. And I was busy learning to breathe again like a normal person. (Priorities, you know.)
Over time, I forgot about my word for the year. I no longer bothered to follow it. It had lost its power. (Or PRESSURE had.)
That’s when I found JOY again. On a detour.
By noticing details in nature.
By finding delight in what I’ve noticed in nature.
By following up on what I’ve noticed and reading on various topics related to nature.
By being out there. On walks, in the garden, in the forest, in the rain (preferably) or in the sun (when it couldn’t be helped), often in the wind.
I started writing a Nature Diary. Just for me at the beginning because I loved to jot down what I’ve noticed, what I’ve experienced, what I’ve learned. The more I noticed, the more I saw, heard, felt. More details, more connections, a whole new perspective, a new world.
My passion and my love for nature grew.
When I wrote in November 2024 about my longing to reconnect with nature, I didn’t imagine it to happen this way or so soon. I thought I’d have to take big, scary steps like hiking alone for a week (something I’ve never done before) or redesigning and replanting the entire garden all at once to make it a perfect habitat for all kinds of wildlife.
I wouldn’t have dreamed it would happen almost unnoticed and completely naturally by simply being present, by noticing details, by being open and curious. (And by taking small steps like installing a bee hotel, learning about bird song with the fabulous Merlin app or just watching the rain and taking it in with all my senses.)
It’s amazing how something so simple can be the answer I was looking for. No drastic changes needed. (I might go on a hike anyway.)
So now if you ask me where my JOY went - she’s been waiting for me in nature all along, and I’m very happy to be there too.
My dear nemesis PRESSURE didn’t come, by the way, she had better things to do. Luckily without me.
I was joined by BREATH, a CALM HEART and some PEACE OF MIND. They make great company.
P.S.: Having stopped reading the news also helped.
If you’ve set a word for 2025, is it still working for you? Does it help you follow the intention you set? Or has something changed and you would like to adapt your word accordingly?
Such a lovely post and I feel it's always possible to find joy in being outside in nature. We all have a tendency to believe we have to behave in certain ways, but I feel we get lost when we abandon ourselves trying to be what we think others want us to be. I've just read in a note 'stop performing care as control and practice care as connection'...that landed with me! Take care of you ❤️ Karen
Wonderful post and I’m glad you found your way back to joy through nature. I know what you mean about not breathing properly - I feel like my breathing is so shallow at the moment. It sits in my chest and doesn’t really get into my lungs. I think giving up on news is the best thing; we can’t control it, it’s usually horrible so focusing on being in nature sounds like a great antidote!