Outside Was Not My Favourite Place to Be
My gentle ways to reconnect with nature. A journey.
Hello, I’m Claudia, and Happy Quiet Life is where I share my view on the world as a Highly Sensitive Person. You’ll find reflections and stories about slowing down & living simpler, reconnecting with nature, mental health & self-care, books & reading adventures. Welcome!
A peaceful early morning
As I sat on the patio shortly after 6 a.m. this morning with a cup of fennel tea in my hand and the sun just rising, I realised how far I’ve actually come since I started my journey back to nature last autumn.
I can’t wait to go outside first thing in the morning.
When the world is still quiet, no one nearby is up but me, it’s my favourite time of the day.
The early rays of sunlight bathe our maple tree at the end of the garden in a golden glow. Are the first leaves turning yellow - or is it just an illusion?
Autumn is getting closer, I can feel it in the cold mornings of the last few days which have made me bring a blanket for my early morning delights outside. My fingers get cold if I don’t wrap them around my hot mug of tea.
Today the air is particularly clear. There is no wind. Nothing seems to be moving. Except for the earliest birds.
I hear the first sparrow nibbling his breakfast cereal from the bird feeder in the corkscrew hazel tree. It’s rare for a sparrow to arrive alone, they usually travel in packs. The seeds he doesn’t like trickle down from the tree. I wait for the wood pigeon to arrive at any moment, gracefully waddling over to see what the sparrow didn’t like and enjoying her own breakfast.
The jackdaws in the neighbour’s tree are already in a bad mood and are arguing loudly about whatever went wrong this morning. The magpie is just passing through. The first sounds of the great tits emerge from the bushes. They too are ready for breakfast, but the sparrow defends his cereal - and is calling for backup. Let’s see who gets to the buffet next.
Of not being outside - without even noticing it
I love nature, always have, but for many years I’ve loved being inside more.
For many reasons, some I didn’t even notice.
Attending university, living a city life for almost 15 years had something to do with it. Changing interests. Jobs. The internet and the development of the modern, fast-paced world that had distanced me even further from being outside often.
This is where my journey started:
What I’ve missed - and a very tentative approach
During my recovery from burnout I felt very strongly drawn to nature again. As a child I was so close to nature, I began to miss that very much.
Reconnecting with nature started with very small steps. And I mean really small and tentative.
I stood inside at my wide-open window and inhaled the wonderfully fresh, moist air and all the beautiful scents from the garden.
I leaned far out of the window (don’t worry, I live on the ground floor) to catch a glimpse of the moon at night or to let the cool rain spray wet my face. I loved getting slightly wet and blown by the south-westerly wind in my PJs before dawn. It made me start the day with a big smile.
I loved the view of the garden from my desk and from my bed. I enjoyed listening to the birds, the wind and the rain, and I liked to keep the window wide open (hoping that the neighbourhood cats would visit).
I loved to take the rubbish bins out to the street (a two-minute walk) and letting the west wind tousle my hair, getting slightly wet by the rain or maybe enjoying the last rays of sunshine that fell on the path and that warmed my face.
Sometimes I saw the days start with a beautiful red sky at sunrise and I would have loved to drop everything and go for a walk at once - but then I didn’t.
It was only at home that I felt safe at the beginning of my burnout recovery.
My gentle ways to reconnect with nature
Change came gradually. In recent months, I’ve found many small steps, gentle ways to spend more time outdoors or find other means to explore my ever-growing interest in all things related to nature.
Starting the day on my bench overlooking the garden
Starting the day on my bench on the patio overlooking the garden, a cup of tea or marzipan-flavoured cocoa (preferably!) in my hand, just being. Watching the early birds, listening to the wind in the maple tree, looking out for the moon and watching the sun rise. I love to stroll along my flower beds, looking for the tiny changes day after day, a new blossom, new growth, an unexpected plant appearing. No phone, no book. Just me and the garden.
Meditating outside, letting nature sounds (birdsong or the wind or the rain) being my anchor. I’ve done it several times in my garden this summer and loved it.
Early morning walks on my own
Yes, it’s about early again. I’m very much a morning person, a very early riser (around 4 a.m.) in any season.
Early walks in the woods or around the lake or out of town before everyone else gets up, the hectic daily life begins and the traffic starts. I like the quiet times.
Sometimes I try something special like a mindfulness walk in the forest with a small group of women, let chance decide where to turn at a junction (by rolling the dice), follow a nature trail I’ve never taken or seek out the source of a river.
Being out in nature is something I usually deliberately do on my own, so I can notice more, pause when I like to, focus entirely of noticing, observing, feeling, following my train of thoughts. I don’t have to talk, especially not about something that has nothing to do with where we are, as if nature was just a pretty backdrop for our conversation. Did I mention that I like it quiet?
Looking for wilderness and beauty wherever I go. A weed pushing through the concrete, a butterfly, a bird call, a blooming flower, the first conker.
Nature diary & learning the names of plants, birds and insects
I started to learn the names of plants, birds, insects and other animals in my area to get to know more of those I share my garden, my neighbourhood, my world with. I’ve found some good apps for that:
Merlin app for birds
ObsIdentify for insects
Flora Incognita for plants
I casually started writing a nature diary. Jotting down my observations, what I saw, felt, experienced, all the tiny details I noticed. I love to take photos (also to learn about species I couldn’t name). But the best thing about writing is that I experience the situations again in all their depth and joy. (Do you hear the HSP talking?) I’ve shared some of my nature diary entries with you on Substack. I enjoyed that a lot.
Very small “projects” in the garden
Small changes in the garden that are easy to do and really fun to watch later. I love our garden, but to be honest I’m not a very good gardener. So to do something really simple was a good idea.
This is the first year we’ve had a bee hotel, and it’s been so fascinating to watch how one room after another has been occupied, who has used it - and what’s happening now, months later.
Sowing something, even if it's just annual summer flowers.
Planting flower bulbs in autumn. I was especially happy with the alliums this year. So beautiful!
Hanging up a bird feeder and setting up a bird bath. We’re not getting tired of watching what happens here all year round!
Noticing the weather and the changing seasons
Noticing the weather and the changing seasons, really noticing. And welcoming it by being outside in all kinds of weather, taking it all in: snow, wind, rain, hoarfrost. I find, the weather is a good starting point for reconnecting with nature. Not judging it as good or bad, as desirable or annoying, but really noticing it, and accepting it as it presents itself.
Reading nature books
Reading all kinds of nature books, on a wide variety of topics, and of course lots of them (no surprises here!). For me it started during my recovery with landscapes I had a longing for, wilderness, harsh, snowy and icy regions.
Since then I’ve read about outdoor living, hikes, night & darkness, certain habitats like rivers, nature diaries and memoirs (my favourites), about certain animals (from octopuses to owls, from bees to birds, from snails to earthworms - and don’t forget the foxes). I’ve learned so much. The more I read the more interesting and fascinating it becomes. And there are countless more aspects to delve into.
Nature writing has become my favourite genre. It’s a perfect way for me to stay in the real world and find beauty in it although there’s so much bad happening and so much is out of my control. It’s a joy and so worth it to learn about many different aspects, as small as they might seem. But they matter. As we do too.
Nature inside
Houseplants. I especially love our monsteras. They bring so much life to the room. Amazing how fast they grow. It’ll be a jungle soon.
Nature pictures on the walls and my pin board, nature postcards as bookmarks.
Nature sounds like Spotify Night Rain to help me get to sleep or to relax.
Where I am now
I’ve been outside much more this year, out in nature more, connecting with the elements and the wildness around me.
What helped me most to get started? Noticing small details. Being out in all weathers, even if it's just for a quick walk or in the garden. Reading about and exploring what caught my interest.
Everything else came after that, and every aspect was a big win. A whole new world has opened up for me, the journey has only just begun.
To be honest, there are still days when it’s easier for me to not be outside, days I don’t get out of the house at all. And that’s okay for me. I’m still recovering, I still have setbacks. But I enjoy being outdoors way more than before. I feel more connected to nature again and I'm looking forward to the next gentle steps. It doesn’t have to be adventurous or fast.
And sometimes you’ll just get surprised by what happens:
By the way, I didn't sit on the bench today because there was a big spider hanging right above it. Spiders and I don’t get along. (Which is another way of saying I'm quite phobic of spiders.) You see, there may be some way to go before I enjoy everything in nature and the outdoors. But I was also very happy with my alternative spot. Go gently. :)
Such a beautiful read Claudia. As you know, we are very similar and I took a lot of inspiration from this piece. 🥰
This is such a beautiful, unfolding read Claudia. Our journeys are so similar and I love that you are taking your return to nature gently. 🌻🌱