Where It All Started and Thanks After One Year on Substack
Revisiting my first post: Why I Quit My Favorite Job. When being an HSP is not a good fit – not even in a library
Hello, I’m Claudia, and Happy Quiet Life is where I share my view on the world as a Highly Sensitive Person. You’ll find reflections and stories about slowing down & living simpler, reconnecting with nature, mental health & self-care, books & reading adventures. Welcome!
Sorry, it’s been some weeks since my last post. Life and health got in the way, it happens - if you like it or not. (I didn’t particularly.) But since it’s August and this means one year on Substack for me at the end of the month (yay! 🎉), I thought it might be a nice idea to repost my very first newsletter that no one but me got as I started with zero readers. I’m so happy about everyone who has found their way to my little corner of the internet since then.
I am so glad and grateful to all of you for being here. Thank you very much for reading, commenting, getting in touch, taking an interest, liking, sharing and recommending. It means the world to me! ❤️
I’m also very grateful for having met many kind, interesting and like-minded people here on Substack. I had no idea I would, because I haven’t met that many in real life. (The problem of being an introvert, I guess.) Your texts and our conversations have enriched my life, so thank you! ❤️
I would be so happy if you choose to come along with me further on, are curious about what happens next and find something interesting and valuable for you and your life. I hope you do!
So, here’s how it all started - life changes and my Substack:
Why I Quit My Favourite Job: When being an HSP is not a good fit - not even in a library
The perfect job at my favourite childhood place
When I started my new job in 2016, I thought it was perfect. I had landed the best job I could imagine and just everything had come together – well almost, but I thought I was prepared for that. (Turned out, I wasn’t.)
The small public library in my home town was my new workplace, a place I loved dearly as a child. Back then I borrowed every book they would let me (under the age of 12 it was restricted). I read every single children’s book and most of the teen’s books. I absolutely loved the place - the atmosphere, the calmness, the people around. Yes, even the somewhat dusty, moist smell of thousands of well-used library books.
Little did I know back then that I would get a key to that favourite childhood place some 25 years later. Access to tons of books 24/7. I was delighted! Well, actually, I was in heaven.
However, the best bit about having started to work there was to help develop the meanwhile somewhat outmoded library, to help it change gently and to help it grow. I wanted others to make equally good memories. How wonderful it would be, if that library would become one of their favourite places to be, too.
I was brimming with energy, ideas, plans. I loved my job. All my strengths, values, fields of interests (yes, and also my training), they all led to this place, this job. Or so it seemed at that time. I was well prepared to do it for the rest of my working life.
Working with people
I never wanted a mere office job. I always wanted to work with, for and amongst people. And I absolutely loved it. With all the joy I had, all the energy I poured into that job, with all the positive feedback I got for my work, I felt I was doing something good for the people, the library, my home town. I was at the right place, where I should be. Where I could make a difference.
A public library is quite a busy place nowadays. No shushing, no silence or anything you might associate with libraries a while back. And don’t get me wrong: I think, it definitely changed for the better. It’s lively, brimming with energy, kids and families spend their time there, school classes visit, elderly people need help with their e-book readers, everyone from small to senior loves a good book recommendation.
You talk to everyone, you engage with everyone, you want everyone to feel welcome and part of the community.
Although I loved working with so many different people every day, of every age and lots of different backgrounds, although it gave me so much joy and confidence – being an introverted highly sensitive person, it also took quite some toll on my energy.
Being exhausted all the time
Although I only worked part-time, I was drained and completely exhausted by Thursday noon. Thursday afternoon and Friday (opening times till 7 pm being the longest day) still ahead of me. Over the years the moment of complete exhaustion went to Wednesday, then Tuesday, in the end I only had energy for Monday morning.
The weekends were just for sleeping, recharging, doing nothing, not meeting people or leaving the flat at all. Hobbies apart from reading? Non-existent. And after a while, weekends or even holidays weren’t enough to recharge my battery.
I hadn’t taken into consideration that the everyday noise and social interaction alone wouldn’t suit me as an HSP and introvert. How that would exhaust me. (And the working atmosphere didn’t help either, but this is a topic for another day.)
Put into the mix, that that library is just one big room, all open, all the office space open, too. You hear everything from everywhere from everyone. (The only door you actually can close is the one to the loo.)
Try working there as an HSP and try writing concepts and reports, drafting applications for funding, designing and evaluating surveys or working on any other stuff you really have to concentrate on. Without ear plugs, because you have to be available any second for a customer, colleague or someone on the phone. Without the option of home office.
I wanted to make it work though. I tried everything I could come up with. Even medication for two years so I could sleep at all. (Crazy, right?) I didn’t want to give up.
Not the right place
It was madness. I wore myself out completely. And I collapsed.
I left after six and a half years, heart-broken.
It felt like giving up at that time, but walking away was the only way to protect myself after all other options had failed.
I am a highly sensitive person, I am an introvert and that seemingly perfect job didn’t suit me.
I have been learning to honour who I am since then. Finally. At the end of my forties. To stop trying to live like everyone else. To pretend to be “normal”. To stop just trying harder. To think „There is something wrong with me“. There isn’t.
Quitting that former dream job actually was the first step to becoming myself again, to start living a life that really suits me.
I am very happy with the quiet life I have started creating for myself since then, and I can honestly say, I’ve never been better in a very long time.
Have you ever quit a job you loved because you couldn’t cope anymore? If you are an HSP, how do you cope with the noise in open-plan offices or with jobs where a lot of social interaction is required?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
I'm not a very people-y person, perhaps that's why I have mostly chosen jobs that pertain to plants and nature. For a very short time I worked at Office Depot - as a cashier! - out of necessity, that was one of my most stressful jobs ever. Even when I worked in food service during my time at university, I was in the back doing food prep or washing dishes, so having fewer people to talk to. Mostly I prefer to work alone, so writing and crafting suit me much better than conventional jobs. Sorry to hear that life and health has recently gotten in the way... wishing many better days and months for you starting this moment!
I read your first post and can't believe how painfully familiar the situation is.
I'm an HSP, have experienced burnout, moved to a small town, and got a part-time job in a library. I’ve been in love with libraries since childhood. I felt so happy, even though the pay was very small.
Every day, after 4–5 hours, I would go home completely drained and fall asleep immediately.
Six months later, I quit.
Nature is my escape and recharging element. I push myself to spend more time outside because, as an introvert, I love being indoors too much (reading, of course 😄).
The problem is: what kind of jobs are suitable for HSPs and introverts if we still need to earn a living? 🤔
Did you find the answer to yourself?